Three weeks ago I was sitting in my comfy office chair, safe at home while attending a staff meeting via GoTo Meeting for the company that I work for. The powers that be announced that day, without any warning whatsoever, that we were all expected back in the office the next week. No more regulations, no social distancing, no exceptions. Two years ago I regularly went to the office daily and thought nothing of it. But now, in the world we live in, I panicked. Simply the thought of going back made me ill.
The only thing I could think to do was make a list:
Lose the 50 pounds I’ve gained since I’ve been in the office
Cry because I can’t do that in 7 days
Buy clothes that actually fit me
Cry because of the size they are
Buy headphones, an air cleaner, more hand sanitizer (even though I already have a cabinet full because I just CAN’T walk past it at the store without buying some)
Look for a remote job
It didn’t help. I still felt faint and panicky. I didn’t want to have to do this. I wanted to control what was happening.
Letting go
Gabby Bernstein says, “When I merge my desire with faith, I can take action from a place of peace rather than control.”
I’m really good at control. I love to be in control of everything, especially myself. But I know that letting go and trusting in my Higher Power (whether that’s God or the Universe or whatever works for you) will help me get to what I want and what I really need a lot faster. Releasing that control has been difficult, but it’s also brought me immense peace.
A week later I walked into the office feeling like I wasn’t quite in my body. I sat in my little office all day and focused on setting up the computer and writing blog posts. The minutes felt like hours. I questioned my sanity at how I had done this for years before and wondered if it would ever feel normal again.
When I got home I curled up on the couch, feeling completely dissociated from my body. I couldn’t focus on eating or watching TV or anything really. I drifted off to sleep. The next morning, I felt better, but still not 100%.
As the days went on I started to feel more normal. I took things easy and was patient with myself. I focused on how I was feeling and what I needed. That was the key to feeling better as quickly as possible. I didn’t try to remove the feelings or push them down. I simply felt through them.
Tips for going back to the office
If you’re going back to the office, I hope your experience is a bit better than mine. I want to help as much as I can. Here are my 5 easy tips for returning to the office:
1 Honor your feelings
Witness what you are actually feeling… not how you think you should feel or how you want to feel. Stop trying to fix what you don’t like that’s going through your mind. Simply listen, witness what’s actually happening and acknowledge it. Resist the urge to judge yourself. Instead, honor it.
2 Feel through what you’re feeling
Instead of running from your feelings, take time for yourself to feel them. If you’re feeling sad, sit down and allow yourself to be sad. Cry if you need to. Rest if you need to. If you’re feeling angry, allow yourself to be angry. If you’re feeling anxious, feel anxious. Whatever you’re feeling, let it be.
3 Choose something different
When you’re feeling all of the things, it’s hard to even think about the fact that you can choose something different. This is why it’s important to feel what you’re feeling first. When you name your feelings and feel them, you take away some of their aggressiveness. Once you get to that point, you can choose something different.
I choose peace instead of this.
This affirmation has helped me immensely. It’s a simple acknowledgment and reminder that I have the power to change how I’m feeling. When I’m in a mess of emotions, I take a minute to rest and remember that I can choose peace instead.
4 Be comfy
When I thought about going to the office again, I felt really weird. I had all of these things at home that have made me feel way more comfortable for a couple of years now. So I started to think about all of the things that I could take with me that might sound a little luxurious but made me feel a lot comfier in an old/new space.
A pair of nice headphones to drownd out the office noises
Eye drops (because all of the air cleaners make the office air super dry)
My favorite foods for lunch
5 Take time for yourself to recover
As introverts, we always need time to recover after being around people. But when we’re in a stressful situation, we may need even more time. Make sure that you plan for this recovery time. Don’t schedule dinner out or in with guests, clear your weekend for a couple of weeks, and make sure you’re spending your time at home in self-care. Do the things that make you feel better, even if it’s simply laying on the couch. Try not to beat yourself up or worry about what you’re not getting done when you’re laying there. Simply rest your body and your mind.
Return to “normal”
I hope your return to the office is smooth and happy. For me, it was a bit rocky, but it turned out 100% better than I had imagined. It’s nice to see people I haven’t seen in a couple of years and catch up on everything that’s changed. It was also nice for me that I was able to work through all of the feelings and get back to feeling good again pretty quickly. I hope you can too.
