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How to Know For Sure If You’re an INFJ

Updated: Feb 1, 2022

We’re all here because we want to know more about ourselves, right? There’s probably something that led you to start looking for your personality type, for answers, for understanding. Maybe you’re struggling with something in your life. Maybe you have something that you want to change about yourself. Maybe it’s just that you’ve been told that you’re wrong for your whole life. And you want to know why. I’ve been through all of these things, every single one of them. And I really, really want to help you find all the answers that you’re looking for.

My story

When I was in college, I took a personality test the first time. I took a version of the MBTI called the Keirsey Temperament Sorter. It told me that I was an INTJ, which was actually incorrect. But because I was in College and I was studying engineering, I was really busy. I had tons of classes that I was taking, so I just sort of threw the test in a box and I moved on with my studies. That was kind of that for a while.

Then a few years later, I was working in my dream job. It was a time when I really should have been incredibly happy, but I was actually really depressed. One of my friends suggested that I go and talk to her counselor, which I did. And I ended up being diagnosed with depression and a general anxiety disorder. It was really at that time that I started looking for answers. I wanted to know why. Why do people get depression? Why do I not feel like everybody else? Why have I always been so different?

Somehow went back and found that personality test. That got me started down this road of really diving deep into personality types. It was a few years later that I had moved back to the Midwest, and I was talking to my niece, who was 13 at the time. And I was telling her about the personality types, and she became just as obsessed as I was about them.

She’s an INTP and she will just ask you constantly about everything. She wants to know why, for every single thing that you can come up with. And if you’ve ever taught somebody something, you know that you don’t really know something until somebody starts asking you questions. We would have lots of conversations about what’s the difference between introverts and extroverts.

And then we would also have conversations like, she got into an argument with her grandma, who she lived with. She didn’t understand why she kept getting into arguments with her grandma. I explained to her that she’s focused on the facts and logic and her grandma is focused on the fact that she hurt her feelings. She doesn’t care about the facts and logic. She cares about how she feels. And my niece finally understood the argument.

But then she said something that surprised me. She was like, “you know what? I don’t think that you’re thinking personality type. You are always focused on feelings. Like, you’re always talking about feelings and you’re thinking about feelings.” And she’s like, “I think that you’re a feeling personality type.”

At first, I was offended, because I thought that feeling types were always outwardly emotional. But then I realized that I didn’t know that for sure, so I started to study what a feeling type was and how they act. That’s when I realized that I am, without a doubt, an INFJ.

Learning what your type is

Everyone has a different story about how they found out their type. Very few people take one test one time and get the right answer. But those who understand what each letter means and how each type feels, thinks and acts have a lot higher success rate in learning their type and finally getting the understanding that they are looking for.

Know your type for sure

1) When you take the personality test, make sure that you answer the questions how you would generally feel most of the time, not how you feel right now. Your mood can have a big effect on how you answer questions, so you want to eliminate that as much as possible.

2) Read the descriptions of each type to see which one sounds more like you. Don’t pay attention to what people say about being the rarest or the best. The point of figuring out your personality type is to understand yourself and to help heal and fix the things that you’re struggling with. It’s not a popularity contest.

3) Remember that understanding is a continual process. We learn and grow as people and we change as we grow. It doesn’t always happen instantly. It may be something that you have to work at for a while. But if you’re persistent, you will get there.

Want to know for sure that you’re an INFJ?

I created a FREE guide that has 20 signs that you’re an INFJ just for you!


If you want more on how to understand yourself, boost confidence, and release your fears, check out this video on how to control the habits in your life.

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Gillian Metcalfe
Gillian Metcalfe
Dec 11, 2022

I have ever known that I was unlike all others around me in Europe. I knew I was rare. I accepted that but I went searching for real people like me and I found the southern hemisphere full of them!! I knew that my inner eye was special, I could see a long, long way. I could never resist following my intuition and was always my own guide. I feel everything, even sound or silence I feel. I am my own judge but am not judgemental of others. I have swayed between assertive and turbulent always, depending who I have near to me. But it is nice to know that I am classified and not a complete alien!

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