Updated: Feb 7, 2022
INFJs are pretty complicated individuals at our core, but it really doesn’t take that much to make us happy. We take pleasure in simple things that most people would find boring. We like to be alone, left in our favorite quiet space to think our deep thoughts and work through our plans and intuitions. Being alone isn’t the only thing that makes us happy, but it is at the top of the list. Here are a few more things…
Having quiet time is really important for INFJs. It’s how we recharge our internal batteries. We need it to give us the energy to do all of the other things we have to do. But we also love it. We could spend the majority of our days in a quiet space curled up with our favorite book and a warm drink. There’s nothing better for us. Nothing makes us happier.
Because of our Extroverted Feeling, we are constantly looking at the people around us. We want to make sure they are ok and have everything they need. We are happy when we are doing something that is important to those around us, something helpful and useful. It gives us a deep sense of purpose and happiness to feel needed and useful.
We are especially happy when other people recognize ou contributions and make us feel valuable. Their kind words will go a long way for us.
Most INFJs identify Words of Affirmation as their top love language. We appreciate anyone who will listen to our theories and ideas and try to understand. We need friends to talk out our problems with and help us sort things through. Their words of encouragement and cheer bring us that happiness that comes from a true connection. It’s an amazing feeling.
Knowing we can be ourselves
INFJs are known as social chameleons. We adapt our personalities to best suit those around us. Most of the time we do this without really even noticing what’s going on. But sometimes it is noticeable and it gets old. We want someone that we can be truly ourselves around and not have to worry about judgment.
Surface-level conversations are the bane of our existence. We want to talk about deep and meaningful things. We can spend hours and hours talking about the meaning of life, the effects of our childhood and self-development. We’ll sit and talk for hours about anything that’s complex and interesting. We love to sort out puzzles for fun. We walk away from these kinds of conversations feeling recharged and ready to conquer the world.
The inside of our head is such a messy and convoluted web of information and connections that we need the outside world to be organized and under control. We love labels and highlighters and file folders, anything that makes us feel like we have our life together. We’ll spend hours organizing and reorganizing the files on our computer to make sure they make the most sense and are easy to access. We like things to be efficient. We’ll be most at ease and internally happy when things are all in their place.
Having a plan
“The opposite of depression is not happiness, it’s purpose.” Cathy Heller says these words over and over again and I couldn’t agree more. As INFJs, we need a plan. We need a goal to work towards. We need to have a long-term view of our lives. We can’t function without it. There is nothing more hopeless than an INFJ floundering around trying to figure out why they were put on this earth. It’s really tragic.
But when we have a plan and we can consistently make progress on that plan, we are very happy and fulfilled. We are great at looking toward the future and adjusting our daily lives accordingly. We are very happy when we can see the progress and know that our plan is working.
As with everything about INFJs, our happiness is contradictory. We are simple and complicated at the same time. But this is where we are most happy as well when we can be most ourselves and help others in the process.