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Top 10 Misconceptions about INFJs

Updated: Feb 1, 2022

INFJs are the rarest MBTI personality type, making up only 1-3% of the population. Because we are so rare there are many misconceptions about us. There is a lot of information out there written by people who aren’t INFJ and they just base it off their theory of how we are. So much of it is incorrect though. It’s best to get the info straight from the source, a real INFJ. 

1. We’re shy

I’ve always thought of myself as shy. It was true for most of my life. But recently my Mom pointed out to me that I’m actually outgoing at times. I like to talk to people in the store and at work. I’m always warm and friendly with them and try to make them feel comfortable. 

While INFJs can be shy, we can also be very warm and friendly. We may not like to be around people all of the time, but we do like people. We like that connection and helping people even if it’s only offering them a smile and a kind word. 

2. We’re sweet and innocent

INFJs generally look sweet and innocent, but that’s not always what’s going on inside. Once you get to know us we are described as strangely feisty. We love to laugh and joke and throw people off of their game. 

We also love a good debate. We like to flex our brain muscles from time to time and see how fast we can back someone into a corner with our logic and quick thinking abilities. 

3. We think we are better than everyone else

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been accused of being elitist or arrogant. What’s interesting to me is that it usually comes from people that I don’t pay that much attention to. 

INFJs are hyper-focused on things that interest us and tend to not notice anything else. Our focus can give people the impression that we think we are better than them when we are just not paying any attention to them at all.  

4. We are happy all the time

I read that INFJs are happy all the time in a blog somewhere and I cringed. This is not the case for me at all. In fact, I’m sad and melancholy more than I am happy. I woke up happy this morning and felt weird about it. 

INFJs notice a lot that goes on in everyday life and in the world. We spend a lot of time thinking about life’s problems and how to make them better. It’s hard to be happy when you see so much pain and sadness and know that there is no real way to fix a large majority of it.


5. We think we are psychic

INFJ intuition is an amazing superpower, but it’s not the same as being psychic. In fact, when I tell people about my intuition I always start with “I don’t think that I’m psychic.” I really don’t think that. 

I do get a sense of deja vu sometimes that’s hard to ignore, but it’s certainly not psychic. 

6. We want to be different from others

It really makes me laugh when people say that I WANT to be different from most people. It’s so not true! I would love to be more mainstream, less complicated. But that’s not the life I was given. So instead of trying to be something I’m not, I embrace what I am. 

7. We’re cold

I’ve been accused of being cold on many occasions. But what people don’t see is what’s going on inside my head and heart. Most of the time there’s a lot going on inside that I just don’t want to share with anyone else. 

INFJs keep our emotions to ourselves. They are very personal for us and we don’t want to share them with just anyone. 

8. We’re indecisive

It’s true that we can be indecisive at times. We see all sides of things because we use both logic and emotion. But this doesn’t mean we can’t make decisions when we need to. We spend so much time thinking about what we want that we usually have it figured out by the time we need to know. We’re planners who like to be prepared well in advance. 

9. We’re always people pleasers

People-pleasing is a natural habit of INFJs. Because we are always aware of the people around us and their emotions we want them to be happy and comfortable. Some INFJs take people-pleasing to an extreme though. A more healthy and knowledgeable INFJ will know where the line is and how to stay away from it. 

10. We’re very emotional all the time

When I first learned that I was INFJ I was devastated. I thought that having a feeling personality made you have outward feelings all of the time and that was the worst possible thing for me. But the more I thought about it I realized that I am an INFJ and I don’t have outward emotions most of the time, so that theory must not be true. You can have a feeling personality and not be overly emotional. It is possible. 

It’s important to remember that while all INFJs are similar we are also all different as well. We all grew up in different places with different families and different influences. All of those things have an impact on who we are as people. 

INFJs are always going to be misunderstood because we are so rare and so different from other types. Most people don’t take the time to get to know us and appreciate our differences. But that’s why it’s important for us to get to know ourselves and appreciate our differences for what they are. 

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