Everyone wants to have tons of money because we want to lay on the beach and sip margaritas. That’s the dream, right? A big house on a nice, warm, private beach where you can lay around all day and drink your favorite cocktail.
But how long can you really, actually do that before you get bored? A week maybe? Possibly 2? Once you do get bored… What's Beyond the Beach?
My favorite beach is called Nantasket Beach. It’s just south of Boston, MA, not far from where I live. It’s the nicest beach that I’ve been to so far, anywhere. The people are nice. It’s clean and welcoming. Though it’s busy in the summertime, that only lasts from Memorial Day to Labor Day. After that, it’s peaceful and serene.
I grew up in the Midwest where the only water available comes out of a faucet. So for me, this much water in one place feels like magic. I could sit here and watch the waves for days. I love the sound they make when they crash against the shore. Whether it’s a nice and peaceful day or whether mother nature has a bit of an attitude, it’s the one place where I can go where all of my troubles melt away. And there’s nothing but peace.
I can see why people want to live here, why this is the ultimate life goal. It’s amazing. I’m convinced the magic of the waves has some kind of healing powers, even if it’s only healing my mind. I want to be there too, all the time.
What’s your purpose?
When we think about our purpose in life, so many people start that conversation with:
“If you had all the money in the world, what would you do?”
The obvious and most used answer is…
“I’d lay on the beach and sip margaritas.”
That sounds like an amazing vacation, right? Especially if you’re in Massachusetts where it’s currently 30 degrees and falling and you’re stressed out by work and traffic and kids and the damn dog that just won’t behave for anything. I too would LOVE to sit and do nothing for a while. Just recharge in the sun.
Let’s talk about vacation for a moment. Think back to your favorite vacation. Whether you remember a vacation from childhood or you’re married with your own kids now, even the best of vacations go something like this…
“SHE’S TOUCHING ME”
“Where is Jennifer? What’s taking her so long? How long does it take to get ready in the morning?”
“You’re going the wrong direction. That’s not what the GPS says. If you just turn here we’ll save 15 minutes of driving!”
“ARE WE THERE YET?”
I always hated vacations because of these things. I had 3 siblings so I could never deal with everyone all together in a car and then a small motel room, all with their own ideas and opinions about everything. No one was ever happy and no one ever enjoyed the whole trip.
Once I got older I started doing my own vacations. I’d take 2 weeks off of work for Christmas vacation so I could have a chance to breathe and enjoy doing nothing. It’s always what I wanted to do every morning that I woke up and hated going to work. So I thought I would thoroughly enjoy a 2 week break.
I did thoroughly enjoy the first 2 or 3 days of the break. I did all the things I didn’t have time to do while working. I cleaned the house, took a long bath, watched a movie, read a book, cooked a nice dinner. It was great!
But by day 3 I started to run out of things to do and sitting there at home wasn’t as great as I thought it would be. I started thinking about other things that I could do. After I’d scrolled through everything on Instagram twice, I thought it would be nice if there was an account that was just for INFJs who are women. So I started one.
Then I started thinking about how I wanted to write for so long and I’d never had the time. So I sat down and started writing. Then I decided that I needed a website. And I spent my remaining vacation focused on setting up my website and filling it with content.
How long can you sip margaritas?
Everyone wants to have tons of money because they want to lay on the beach and sip margaritas. But how long can you actually do that before you get bored? A week maybe? Possibly 2? I only lasted about 3 days with my dream of doing nothing, but maybe you’d last a week.
Once you do get bored… What's Beyond the Beach?
What would you do if you had all the money in the world and you spent a week on the beach, but then got bored? What would you do then? Maybe the lazy, relaxed life is for you and that’s great if it is, but if it’s not, what would you do?
I don’t do well being bored or not doing anything. I need to be busy most of the time, which is why I started my blog and my podcast. I also have a whole other list of things that I want to do.
Plus, like most INFJs, I have this drive to do something big and meaningful with my life. I want my time on this Earth to mean something, even if it’s just to one person. If I can help one person, then all of my effort is worth it.
When you’re thinking about what you would do beyond the beach, here are a few things to consider:
1 INFJs need to do something useful and helpful in the world.
We are most happy and satisfied when we are helping others. We need to know what we are valuable, that we can make the world a better place somehow. Whether that’s volunteering at a homeless shelter or helping people understand themselves better through writing a blog, that’s up to you. Whatever you do, you’ll feel most fulfilled in life if it helps someone else.
2 You may not find the one thing you’re looking for right away.
It’s not always a bolt of lightning that hits you. You don’t always get a text message that says “THIS IS YOUR PURPOSE.” Most of the time it’s more of a trial-and-error type of thing. It might take you years to find the thing that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Don’t get discouraged. Just keep looking and keep trying new things. You’ll find it.
3 You don’t have to have one purpose in your life
There can be multiple things that are your life’s calling at different times in your life. You don’t have to focus on only one thing forever. You could write for a few years and then decide to be an artist or to start a YouTube channel. Your purpose can evolve with you as a person.
4 Writing is the most powerful tool that you can use to help you figure everything out
INFJs have a notoriously difficult time organizing our thoughts. When we write them down, we’re forced to organize them in a way that makes a lot more sense than when they’re just floating around in our heads. That organization will give you some key answers that you’ve been looking for.
5 Support makes all the difference
I used to think of myself as a loner. I like being alone and doing things on my own. I’ve never been a “group project” type of person. But I’ve found over the years that having support from friends with similar goals that you have makes a huge difference.
I took a business class a couple of years ago and they put us in small groups that were supported to meet every week throughout the 12 week class. I figured that was one part of the class I could skip, but I loved the class so much that I decided to give it a try. I ended up loving that part of the class. Our group had several people in it that were just as committed to building a business as I was and it inspired me and pushed me to make it happen.
Finding a support group of like-minded people who are working on a similar goal will go a long way to help you.
In the last few weeks, we’ve talked a lot about how writing can help you so much as an INFJ. There are actually 8 additional episodes to this season that you can get access to for free if you go to https://infjwoman.com/seasonfiveextras/ that goes even further into how writing can help you.
Writing helps you:
Organize your thoughts and your life
Solve your problems
Work through the difficult things that have happened to you
Make goals for the future
Many INFJs end up wanting to write for a living, or wishing they could. I did. But I never thought that I could make a living from writing. I started a blog in 2018 because I wanted to get some practice writing. I had no idea it would become the thing that consumed my thoughts, plans, ideas, hopes and dreams for the next 4 years and then some!
Write for you life
A lot of people ask me about the process of writing and even more people have told me that it’s their New Year’s Resolution, that like me, they’re starting a blog now or are planning to in January. So, I decided to put together a free 5 day bootcamp to talk about what I went through with starting my blog 4 years ago, share all of the good, bad and ugly, and help you plan what you should be doing without making all of the mistakes that I did.
You can join by going to https://infjwoman.com/challenge/. It’s called Write for your Life. All of the fun starts January 9, 2023.