I’m not incredibly sentimental, though I have to say that Valentine’s Day bothers me, probably because I’ve been single on every single one for my whole life. Here’s this day to show your special person how much you love them and the only person who’s ever bought me a box of chocolate is my mom. I thank God for her. At least I’ll get chocolate.
FOMO
I think the worst part of it isn’t that I’m not in a relationship. It’s that I see all the other people who are. They are on display this time of year. And it’s exhausting and disgusting… mostly because I wish I were them. I know in my head that their Instagram Reels and Facebook posts are probably not the real story, but the jealousy still creeps up.
Let me tell you a story about pictures. People say they are worth a thousand words. It’s not true. The real story is that pictures lie. They are the biggest liar, liar pants on fire type of liars.
This is one of my favorite pictures that has ever been taken of me. I generally hate pictures, so that’s a big statement. In case you don’t recognize the guy in the pic (OMG how could you not??), no he’s not mine. Sigh. He’s actually the lead singer of an iconic boyband from Boston: New Kids on the Block.
In January of 2020, the New Kids on the Block announced that they were going to do one show in 2020 at Fenway Park in Boston. So they made the rounds to the local radio stations on a Wednesday morning. I had gotten a heads up from one of my friends, so I called in sick to work and went to the radio stations to see if I could see them.
I spent about 3 hours waiting for them, 1 of those in the 30 degree weather. I was told to leave by a couple of employees of the station, even though I was simply standing in the parking lot harming no one. They finally showed up, 45 minutes late as per usual, and stopped to take pictures with the 3 of us fans that were standing there.
They were super sweet, but the photo above is deceiving. I sent it to one of my friends and she freaked out. This New Kid happens to be her favorite too.
“OMG TELL ME EVERY SINGLE THING THAT HAPPENED. YOU LOOK SO CUTE IN THAT PIC!!!”
I said, “ok, be prepared for a long story.
Second one, I handed him my phone. He knew what I wanted without me even saying anything.
Second two, we leaned in and took the pic.
Second three, he handed me back my phone.
Second four, he took off running for the door to get into the radio station.”
She was like, “WHAT?!? That was IT?? You guys looks so cute and cuddly!!”
I was like, “Yep. I don’t even think he said anything. That was it. It’s a great pic though!”
Pictures lie.
I feel like something’s missing
Valentine’s Day and really all of the holidays simply point out to me that I want something more. I know that a boyfriend or husband doesn’t equal flowers, candy and love on Hallmark holidays, even though we naturally assume it does. It just the reminder, the gnawing feeling that there should be something more to my life by now. I’m tired of playing this game alone and I want someone to share it with.
Before someone says. “OMG YOU DON’T NEED A MAN TO BE HAPPY…” I know. I don’t NEED a man. I just want one. I want the cute, sweet nothings and the annoying, pesky, “I might slap you if you don’t stop chewing with your mouth open” type of things.
The Solution
So what’s a single girl to do on Valentine’s Day sans a nice date? This one is buying my own box of chocolates and watching horror movies. Instead of a nice dinner at a good restaurant, I’ll probably get a frozen pizza, as that’s one of the best things I know how to cook.
Maybe I’ll look and see if there are cooking classes I can take, just in case my McDreamy doesn’t know how to cook either… It will give me something to do while I wait for him.
